A Note to the Customer Service Industry

I don't take phone calls from recordings.  I feel that your imposing something so impersonal and vacant onto me is terribly rude, so instead of encouraging the practice by rewarding it with my attention I hang up as soon as I can tell there's not an actual person on the other end of the line.  If you have important information that you need to convey to me, have the courtesy to do it live.

If the first words out of your mouth are a suggestive sell ("Hi, welcome to our place, would you like to try our new thing?"), then you have guaranteed I won't be ordering that item--even if it's what I was there to order in the first place.  More important than satisfying my need at that point is not encouraging your behavior by rewarding it.  You know nothing about me, about who I am, what I enjoy, or, most importantly, what my particular need is in that moment.  Trying to impose your solution onto me before taking the time to hear my need is backwards, rude, and wrong.  The first and only two things you should begin our interaction with are asking how you can help me and listening very carefully to my response.  If you try to offer me a solution before taking the time to understand my problem, then you are setting us both up for frustration.

For the same reasons, I end all telemarketing and unsolicited phone calls as immediately as possible, without giving them a moment's consideration.  I'm not going to reward your attempt to impose your solution on me void of any shared need on my part.

If I approach you to ask for your assistance, one of the worst possible things you can do is refer me to instructions or a form on your website and tell me to go help myself there.  If I wanted to interact with a website, I would have gone to the website.  When I call you and get a prerecorded menu, the only thing I'm listening for is the option that will get me to a live person, and I'll skip over all of your interactive automation as quickly as I can.  I am an introvert and prefer to be self-sufficient--avoiding social interaction--whenever possible.  The first thing I do upon walking into a new environment is look for signs and other self-help guides so I don't have to deal with people.  I'm a librarian and good at finding information for myself, which I do when I can.  If I have made the choice to approach a person, I have decided I'm past doing things on my own and I expect a personal, personable interaction that satisfies my needs before we're done.  I'm asking for your help because I no longer find the website or phone menu an acceptable option, and I am hoping you will be able to provide me with a complete result.

I am not a category, statistic, potential, challenge, problem, or nuisance, I am a person.  Your personal attention and time is the most important thing you can give me.  The only thing your "efficiencies" earn is my animosity and a guarantee I'll try to find someone else next time rather than patronize you again.

I'm not interested in being part of a world that looks like this: