Too Much Self-Esteem

I'm not on Twitter, but my Facebook feed has been full of posts recently about #NotAllMen and #YesAllWomen, with some very heated discussions, prompted by the recent UCSB shooting and the shooter's misogynistic issues.  Before that there were discussions about concepts like "nice guys" and "the friend zone" and sexism in the gaming industry/community, along with other ways men seem to think women "owe" us sex as lesser beings meant for our gratification.

And it struck me that the real problem with so many of the guys in these discussions is that they have too much self-esteem.  A properly insecure, unconfident, self-loathing guy truly doesn't believe he is anywhere near the realm of being noticed as an attractive or sexual being by women, no matter how much he longs for it.  He would never dream of thinking that women owe him anything other than courtesy and friendship, since he knows at his core that that's the best he can hope for.  Should anything more than that ever happen, he will be filled with awe, wonder, and gratitude, not smug self-satisfaction.  So the solution is simple: We need to start teaching our guys that they are worthless, unattractive, and undeserving.

Of course, an alternate option is that we guys stop being so damn defensive and start listening to the women, because what they have to say really isn't all that complicated and hard to understand.