I Will Shing You

"Oh! [7-year-old], can you tell me about this picture you drew at school today?"

"It's just, just a thing I did. It's nothing."

"No, don't be embarrassed. I really like it and I want to know more about it because I think it's cool."

"Okay. It shows how one person can spread their love to lots of different people."

"So, [7-year-old], we've heard your teacher's side but we haven't heard your side yet. She says you don't pay attention or listen to her, and when she asks you to, you choose to ignore her and don't change your behavior. Is that the way it's happening?"

"It's just that there are so many cool things to do while I'm sitting in class, like tapping out a rhythm on my desk with my fingers."

"Okay, but do you see how that could be disruptive, could make it hard for her to teach, make it hard for others to listen, and make it look like you're not paying attention?"

"Yes."

"So if you understand that, why don't you stop when she asks you to?"

"I do stop! But then I think of another cool thing I could be doing, like pound on my desk in a different way."

[5-year-old]: "Dad, the reason I keep trying to sneak weapons to school is just in case a bad guy is there."

"Yes, but you have teachers, the principal, and other adults to protect you. The building is locked at all times and even mom and dad can't get in unless the secretary lets us."

"But yesterday we practiced what to do if a bad guy comes to the school. So I need to take a weapon just in case. It could happen!"

(If you haven't kept up with trends in education, schools regularly practice active-shooter drills along with fire, tornado, and other safety run-throughs.)

A Facebook status from my wife:

At 0600 this morning I had to confiscate my kids' cardboard shields and weapons because they were battling down the hallway. 0600!

"Battling down the hall" meaning charging back and forth at each other, screaming battle cries, and bashing each other as hard as possible. Except I think their (previous-to-the-ones-pictured) weapons were both destroyed at the time and it was a contest of shield bashing.

I pulled out some of my D&D books to reference pictures in helping them design their weapons (their original inspiration was Minecraft). I feel slightly guilty, like I'm exposing them to dangerous new ideas, even though I enjoyed the same kinds of things when young and had no trouble distinguishing between fantasy play and reality. They show a remarkable natural instinct for how the weapons work--"I want that one, because it will reach over his shield"--and how to use them; and when fighting they have good untrained technique.

A few years ago, in Identity & Privilege: A Few Thoughts, I wrote of the older one:

Our four-and-a-half-year-old son has always been rough-and-tumble and rambunctious. Since he started learning to crawl, and then walk, I’ve been saying he leads with his head—particularly for his frequent falls. He runs more than he walks, and throws caution to the wind. It was only when his younger brother came along that we realized some kids come with a sense of self-preservation.

I would add that his younger brother seems to have learned from his example well.

When I was learning to play football oh, so many years ago in high school, I had to learn to override the instinct to flinch from contact. To hold back. I had to train to put myself fully into the hit and drive through it well past the point of contact. Most of us had to. Generally the players who were most successful on the field were the ones who best learned how to do it, regardless of anything else.

My kids don't seem to have that instinct to hold back. They already know how to bash each other all the way. No sense of self-preservation.

Mixed in with the battle cries are shouts of, "Shing! Shing!" That's their sound effect for metal on metal. It's tinged with just a hint of harder "ch." And they've turned it into a verb. "I will shing you!" "Oh, you shinged me!"

[7-year-old] has updated his plans for making money. He already has many jobs in mind he'll work, such as train engineer and Lego designer, and wants to create a video game, and now he has started digging a mine in our garden to find--as in Minecraft--a treasure trove of gold, diamonds, rubies, and the like (or coal, at the very least). He's already mapped out the dimensions of the first chamber once he gets his entrance tunnel deep enough. Though don't worry, when he gets rich he'll use the money to help people.

Perhaps it's been this way for a while, but I just realized recently that I have a callus on my middle finger where I rest books when I read them.

hashtag working hands

Doing check-ins during a Zoom meeting someone shared, "I am pandemic fine." As in, not normal fine, but circumstantially fine. I love it.

I think I might have just set a personal pandemic record for time between showers.

It's me!

Kansas City Stays Caffeinated Through The Pandemic, But How We Drink Our Coffee Has Changed

It's  hard to imagine something more consistent in times of upheaval than  coffee. Some Kansas Citians have increased their caffeine intake from one cup to an entire pot. That's because running around less hasn't  meant laying off the coffee, just drinking more of it at home.

Literally me. Some days I drink the entire pot; most days I come close.

I love this so much.

Gina parks the van and shows me where to get a shopping cart. It takes three tries before we find one that doesn't have a stuck or wobbly wheel.

"These carts have bugs," I report.

Gina laughs and says, "Yes, Cog. It seems most shopping carts do."

Bugs are mistakes. I have quite a few, but Gina tells me not to worry about them, because most things are buggy.

 . . .

"Is my judgment the result of a bug?" I ask her. "Can you fix it?"

"No," she says, hanging seven bags of shredded cheese back on their hooks. "It's just something you have to learn. It's like my old professor used to tell me: 'Good judgment comes from experience, but experience comes from bad judgment.' That means we learn by making mistakes."

I process this for a while.

"How long did it take you to learn good judgment?"

"Oh, I'm still learning it, buddy. I'm learning it all the time."

 . . . 

I think about what Gina told me.

We learn by making mistakes.

I am Cog. Short for "cognitive development." I am built to learn. Which must mean I am built to make mistakes.

I form a decision: To increase my learning, tomorrow I shall make some big mistakes.

 . . . 

I have gained more experience than I had anticipated.

I wish the learning would stop now.

It's from the book Cog, by Greg van Eekhout

Cog, short for "cognitive development," is a young robot whose primary purpose is to learn. He lives in a home with his caring creator and is still largely naive of life and the ways of the world. Then he is badly damaged in an accident and awakens to learn he has been moved to a new life in a research facility, his creator reassigned somewhere far away. He also learns that his new owner is much more nefarious, so he decides to escape to hunt for his old one. He does so, accompanied by a team of robot companions,* and they set off on a road trip pursued by their corporate overlords.

Cog is fast-paced and fun, with plenty of humor and madcap adventure. It also manages to delve into serious issues about free will, judgment, and purpose. It nicely blends the silly with the serious, delivering a most entertaining and satisfying read. Recommended. 4.5 stars.

*"Trashbot," I whisper, "would you like to join Proto and me for bad experiences? There will likely be much waste along the way."

A few other bits I like:

The dishwashing machine just washes dishes. It is not good at conversation.

Another room in the house is the living room. It contains a large television and squishy furniture. Sitting on squishy furniture and watching television is defined as "living."

-

Toothpaste and Whizzy Cheese seem to share key similarities. Perhaps I can brush my teeth with Whizzy Cheese.

-

Unshopping takes longer than shopping.

InspiroBot thinks being a grown-up isn't constructive.

I have to share this image-poem combo that came across my Facebook feed.

May we raise children

who love the unloved 

things - the dandelion, the 

worms & spiderlings.

Children who sense 

the rose needs the thorn

& run into rainswept days

the same way they 

turn towards sun...

And when they're grown &

someone has to speak for those 

who have no voice

may they draw upon that 

wilder bond, those days of

tending tender things

and be the ones.

~ Nicolette Sowder 

Art by Lucy Campbell

A hero is any person really intent on making this a better place for all people

~ Maya Angeloou

To increase my learning, tomorrow I shall make some big mistakes.