The World is Full of Things You Know Nothing About

No, evacuation is not an option.

We just had another little pandemic quarantine stint. The kids have been sick for four days now so we've all been staying home in case it was covid, but we got test results this morning saying they don't have it.

Still, it drags on. Hospitals once again are at capacity and now local school districts are having to close at times because too many teachers are out to stay open. We've had the most cases and absences at my work since this began.

There is no escape.

Yes, that meme I stole feels far too accurate.

I'm also feeling more tapped out than I have since this began. It's hard mustering the energy to care about anything more than basic needs. And, though I love them, having the kids trapped at home all day doesn't help.

Talking is often a torment for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words.

 ― Carl Jung

So this post won't be as thoughtful as many. Just a quick assembly of diversions.

Because my inability to engage with reality has left me grasping for diversions in the hopes of reenergizing escape.

So I asked the question on Facebook, "What animal am I?"

In the comments, I added, "I can never decide if it should be physical resemblance, personality, values, ideals, or what . . . And the real question is what do others see me as?"

I bring this up because I was absolutely flattered by the one sincere response from a friend:

African Elephant. You are strong and gentle and you have an incredible memory. You are an excellent parent and you are loyal. You go about your business until you are called on to raise your head and your great big tusks and demand they take heed. And it's usually in the defense of others.

I love it; plus I can see some truth to it.

Then I asked my kids. Without hesitation, they said: Hinox:

Hinox are recurring enemies in The Legend of Zelda series. They are usually shown to be brutish cyclopean creatures of large size, and can range from enemies to sub-bosses
depending on the game.

Like Bokoblins and Moblins, they're pig-like creatures. They use their large size and fists to hurt Link. If Link gets close enough, they will try to punish him by stomping the ground below them. Often they use their environment to their advantage, which can include them uprooting nearby trees and attempting to flatten Link with them. However, they are fairly slow enemies and their moves can be telegraphed quite easily.

Of course, they put no thought into and were just trying to be silly.

Speaking of my silly kids, a car dialogue with the six-year-old, first-grader:

"Guess who had a birthday today? Eliana! She's my almost girlfriend and I'm her almost boyfriend."

"That's great. Though you don't need to worry about boyfriends and girlfriends yet; save that until you're older. For now just focus on good friends."

"I know, that's about who you want to marry when you're older. But it's a serious question Eliana and I are debating, whether we want to get married when we're older."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Talking about it even gets us flustered."

He's the social one.

I was inspired by the new TV show The Book of Boba Fett to pull out my old Star Wars figures to look at the recurring characters from Tatooine.

They're in better condition than I remember.

Also this. Someone got me a box of sarcastic affirmations. Most of them are pretty forgettable, but I like this one--for the actual sentiment even more than the humor:

Everyone's a Teacher

Everyone I cross paths with is a teacher in that moment. The ones who give me the fun lessons are the ones I call "friends." The ones who give me the hard lessons I sometimes call "a-holes." They've chosen a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. So today I'm thanking all the a-holes. Thank you, a-holes, for playing your part in making me a better person.

Often we learn who we want to be by figuring out who we don't want to be.

I really love this passage from Fly Trap by Frances Hardinge:

The heart of being a radical isn't knowing all the right books, it isn't about kings over the sea or the parliament over in the capital. It's . . . looking at the world around you and seeing the things that make you sick to the stomach with anger. The things there's no point making a fuss about because that's just the way the world is, and always was and always will be. And then it means getting good and angry about it anyway, and kickin' up a hurricane. Because nothing is writ across the sky to say the world must be that way. A tree can grow two hundred years, and look like it'll last a thousand more--but when the lightning strikes at last, it burns.

Of the book, I wrote:

Wow--I can't believe it's been 14 years since I read and fell in love with this book's predecessor (Fly by Night). That was my introduction to Hardinge and I've read most of her titles since, but for some reason I hadn't gotten back to Mosca and her adventures until now. I'm glad, of course, that I did, as it did not disappoint. Mosca only wants to figure out a way to survive, but her cleverness and compassion keep getting her tangled into knots with all kinds of trouble. Luckily, her wit is sharp enough for any task and entertains along the way.

Another passage I noted:

Mosca's sharp ears twitched. Yes, there it was, the unmistakable sound of something not being said.

I think I might have shared a quote from Fly by Night before, but I'm not sure. Here's more about it (from 14 years ago):

I have to admit that I almost didn't read this book. The cover art gave the impression it might be a bit light and the banner across it that it might be a bit too straightforward. I'm very glad that I didn't judge this book by it's cover, though, because it ended up being a very satisfying read. A disclaimer at the end reads:

This is not a historical novel. It is a yarn. Although the Realm is based roughly on England at the start of the eighteenth century, I have taken appalling liberties with historical authenticity and, when I felt like it, the laws of physics.

It's not historical fiction, but instead resembles a fantasy novel in the author's world building. It offers a complex society, with a well-developed and confusing array of social, religious, and political factions. All made up names and situations. Yet there is nothing fantastical about it. The characters are mundane and deal with "real" situations. The banner across the cover asks us to, "Imagine a world in which all books have been banned." This is only partially true, and the situations and issues presented in the story are so much more. These are some tangled and intricate concepts.

But they are couched within an exciting and engaging story. Mosca is a 12-year-old orphan living with her cruel aunt and uncle in a backwater village. When a smooth talking con man and lover of words is arrested as a swindler, Mosca decides to set him free, burning her uncle's mill in the process so there is no option of going back. She latches onto Eponymous Clent despite his efforts to leave her behind. They end up in the big city of Mandelion, where her father lived and she was born. Before she realizes it, she and Eponymous are drawn into a world of espionage and intrigue among the various factions fighting for control of the city. I recommend giving it a try to learn the rest of the story.

At last she raised her head to look at the imagined figure of her father, whose desk was now perched up on the rag mountain.

"You weren't much help," she murmured bitterly. "Why didn't you tell me anything about all this?"

"If you want someone to tell you what to think," the phantom answered briskly, without looking up, "you will never be short of people willing to do so." . . . "Come now," he said at last, "you can hardly claim that I have left you ignorant. I taught you to read, did I not?"

A couple of other quotes:

Everybody knew that books were dangerous. Read the wrong book, it was said, and the words crawled around your brain on black legs and drove you mad, wicked mad.

-----

"Where is your sense of patriotism?"

"I keep it hid away safe, along with my sense of trust, Mr. Clent. I don't use 'em much in case they get scratched."

I like to think I read the wrong books.

I've recently had a chance to discover these unexpected faces:

I have other thoughts percolating, but I think that's all for now.