But What About the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

The science standards in Kansas have been changed again, much to the chagrin of the religious right.

The Top 13 Things No Longer Taught in Kansas Science Classes

13. Masturbation causes crotch goblins.

12. Amelia Earhart disappeared when she flew off the edge of the Earth.

11. Hurricanes always come during God's cough and cold season.

10. A big-bearded man in the clouds controls touchdown receptions.

9. An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless Jesus wants it to stop.

8. On multiple-choice tests, "'Cause the Bible tells me so" can no longer be offered as a choice.

7. God gave humans opposable thumbs so they could hold hymnals.

6. Barney is the last of the talking dinosaurs.

5. Calculus is about the rate of change, and everyone should resist *all* change.

4. Egyptian pyramids were built by dinosaurs, not aliens.

3. On the eighth day, God created Dale Earnhardt.

2. Two plus two equals five, because you add one to every equation for the Holy Ghost.

1. "Welcome to Sex Ed. On your wedding night, an angel will visit you and tell you everything you need to know about sex. This concludes Sex Ed."