Grace (not Karma)

This morning I was faced with a choice. My four-and-a-half-year-old woke grumpy, for whatever reason. He wanted to destroy things, and kept trying. Threw his clothes on the floor instead of getting dressed, that kind of thing. Unprovoked. When I fed our dog, he grabbed the bowl of food and tossed it down the hall. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't talk, but kept communicating the message I cared and did my best not to get angry or retaliate in response. The final straw was when we were at the door getting ready to head out to the car. His older brother was holding a plate of food to eat for breakfast in the car. He knocked it to the ground. So I grabbed him, carried him out, and belted him into his car seat--coatless and shoeless in cold weather--telling him his brother would get his food now and he would get none. He started remorsefully crying, saying he was hungry, begging for food.

So I had to decide; which lesson to teach him: you get what you deserve or you are worthy of unconditional love? Which would be more likely to help him grow and change and do better next time? Natural consequences that hurt or forgiveness, acceptance, and a challenge to be better? In my experience the latter option is the more motivational and effective, in myself, in my dealings with others, and in the research and stories I've seen. A message of--an experience of--grace, not karma. So I gave him a new plate of food, an explanation of my thinking, and an appeal to treat others the way I was treating him. I'm hoping it was the best response to the circumstances.

My photo of a painting that hangs in our church

As usual, what follows is going to be an eclectic collection of my recent thoughts and encounters, things I've seen, consumed, and done. Many of the articles theme well with the story I shared above, but not all. I thought about trying to tie it all together into some sort of message for the new year, but think the theme of grace is message enough. Grace in the theological sense: the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Whoever or whatever you consider God, may the coming year bring you more grace from God and from those around you, and may it see you share more grace with others.

(*Karma: the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished . . . according to that person's deeds.)

My six-year-old's Sunday school project this year

Morrigan was startled to realize that he was blinking back tears.

She'd never known someone could feel so strongly about his friends. Probably because she'd never had a friend. Not a real one. (Emmett the stuffed rabbit didn't really count.)

An instant family. Brothers and sisters for life.

It made sense to her now. Jupiter carried himself like a king, like he was surrounded by an invisible bubble that protected him from all the bad things in life. He knew there were people in the world--somewhere out there--who loved him. Who would always love him. No matter what.

That was what he was offering her.

― Jessica Townsend, Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow

He found a heart-shaped rock last time we went hiking

From the hike

Recent doodles while I waited for the boys at church
- choose your December

My first response anytime someone asks at the library for books about Christmas. "Are you wanting Jesus or Santa?"

Unlearning ‘Christianese’

One of the primary problems with Christianese is that it doesn’t make sense to outsiders." . . .

Christianese often takes the form of pat answers and clichés. Like superficial statements athletes say during sports interviews. When athletes say they need to “bring their A game” and “give 110 percent,” they aren’t really communicating anything. Overused clichés are just as empty and meaningless when we’re talking about God. . . .

Many Christians haven’t thought through what they mean when they use Christianese terms. The main reason we use such phrases is because it’s how we’ve been taught to talk about God and faith. However, we also use our group’s language to reinforce our sense of belonging to the tribe. Jargon is a prime way our tribe separates the sheep from the goats.

Last post I shared some kudos I recently received from colleagues. This bit is in a similar vein. Preschools will sometimes ask parents to share, and since I'm a children's librarian I've occasionally brought my storytimes to my kids' classes. The last time the younger one's teacher and I worked to set up a date, the principal asked me to present to the whole school (two sessions of two classes at a time). I decided to try out some newer books that were a little quieter and more thoughtful than some, not quite as funny or boisterous or interactive. That's always a risk, going for deeper affect than obvious. They worked great, thankfully.

A week after, one of the secondary teachers in his classroom--one we've had some minor conflicts with about misbehavior and our parenting choices--stopped me to say she thought my storytime had been "beautiful." I asked her which of the books she meant, and she said, "All of it. It's like you were born to do it." I've been on a bit of a high since, feeling it's one of the best and most meaningful compliments I've received.

(Books: Pokko and the Drum, A Fox Found a Box, A Day so Gray, and Little Mole's Wish)

I was so close to feeling like I had Jun's story nailed down. But no. That's not how stories work, is it? They are shifting things that re-form with each new telling, transform with each new teller. Less a solid, and more a liquid taking the shape of its container.

― Randy Ribay, Patron Saints of Nothing

Yesterday the boys asked me how God could have created the universe from nothing, because if God existed then there wasn't nothing since God is something. I responded by sharing one of my core beliefs: that some things are too big for our small minds to comprehend, that there are some things we'll never understand and that's okay. We'll never have answers to everything and we need to get comfortable with not knowing. Don't expect everything to make sense, because it just won't. And that's the way it should be.

That belief is one of the reasons I like playing with randomness and nonsense so much. I've shared a lot from InspiroBot in the past and thanks to a recent read have just started playing with a random fake word generator. It's fun to imagine what they might mean.

Extorious
Digikiki
Cazoova
Glaretram
Besloor
Pegmode
Woowoosoft

(The book has a character read a poem composed entirely of such words ("Random Word Generator Input #17"), and in a footnote even directs readers to this blog with more.)

(One of the pieces I recited in my Oral Interpretation of Literature college class 25 years ago was Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky.)

One of our annual winter projects at the library is planning our event calendar for next summer. In addition to usual things like storytimes and book clubs, we like to add fun activities for all of the students who are out of school. Some staff groups offer things like Wacky Wednesdays, when they have fun with their clothes and have drop-in games. Sometimes we hire outside presenters like children's' musicians and storytellers.

We also have a theme each year to give us some focus when creating booklists and developing our ideas. Topics like sports or outer space or mysteries. Next year is fairy tales, mythology, and fantasy. Colleagues have been developing things like a Renaissance festival, folklore storytimes, mythology trivia, and muggle quidditch. I started brainstorming on our shared document to get my creative juices flowing. My contributions follow.

Thieves Guild Thursdays - Present your cache of items stolen from other patrons to see if you qualify for membership in our local JoCo thieves guild. Every Thursday. Summer-long accumulation counts.

Changeling Checks - We’ll have experts on hand to test to see if you were secretly exchanged for a goblin or fairy as an infant, with your true nature hidden by a glamour ever since. Note: sources and research materials will be available for those wanting to investigate ways to reverse their glamours.

Spellbook Creation - Hmm. This could actually be a program, a combination of craft and writing. Make/decorate a stylish journal that reeks of magic and learn some poetic tips for filling it with enchanting words . . .

Library Patron Bestiary - Appearances can be deceiving. Learn to spot the clues that will help you figure out which library users are secretly ogres, troglodytes, trolls, and other types of monsters.

Potions Class - Try different combinations of medicinal herbs to see what kinds of effects they have on your body and mind.

Magic of the Divine - Discover the power of having your own group of religious fanatics. We’ll teach you how to invent a god, develop a set of beliefs around them, become their high priest/ess, and recruit followers to your brand new cult. Come prepared with not only ideas about your deity and their domain(s), but also categories of people they’ll condemn, as shared hatred is a great way to build fervor for your cause.

Dragons vs. Unicorns: Blood Bout in the Arena of Death - Still need to work out the details . . . 

(Of spellbook creation, see more: Magic Words, What Is Your Magic Word?, and A Glossary of Enchantment.)

Say Goodbye to the Information Age: It’s All About Reputation Now

We are experiencing a fundamental paradigm shift in our relationship to knowledge. From the ‘information age’, we are moving towards the ‘reputation age’, in which information will have value only if it is already filtered, evaluated and commented upon by others. Seen in this light, reputation has become a central pillar of collective intelligence today. It is the gatekeeper to knowledge, and the keys to the gate are held by others. The way in which the authority of knowledge is now constructed makes us reliant on what are the inevitably biased judgments of other people, most of whom we do not know. . . .

The paradigm shift from the age of information to the age of reputation must be taken into account when we try to defend ourselves from ‘fake news’ and other misinformation and disinformation techniques that are proliferating through contemporary societies. What a mature citizen of the digital age should be competent at is not spotting and confirming the veracity of the news. Rather, she should be competent at reconstructing the reputational path of the piece of information in question, evaluating the intentions of those who circulated it, and figuring out the agendas of those authorities that leant it credibility.

Whenever we are at the point of accepting or rejecting new information, we should ask ourselves: Where does it come from? Does the source have a good reputation? Who are the authorities who believe it? What are my reasons for deferring to these authorities? Such questions will help us to get a better grip on reality than trying to check directly the reliability of the information at issue.

More on Grace:

Researchers Find A Remarkable Ripple Effect When You Give Cash To Poor Families

Over the past decade there has been a surge of interest in a novel approach to helping the world's poor: Instead of giving them goods like food or services like job training, just hand out cash — with no strings attached. Now a major new study suggests that people who get the aid aren't the only ones who benefit. . . .

A wealth of research suggests that when families are given the power to decide how to spend it, they manage the money in ways that improve their overall well-being: Kids get more schooling; the family's nutrition and health improves. . . .

"There's a fear that you just have more dollars chasing around the same number of goods, and you could have price inflation," says Miguel. "And that could hurt people who didn't get the cash infusion." . . .

"That money goes to local businesses," says Miguel. "They sell more. They generate more revenue. And then eventually that gets passed on into labor earnings for their workers."

The net effect: Every dollar in cash aid increased total economic activity in the area by $2.60.

But were those income gains simply washed out by a corresponding rise in inflation?

"We actually find there's a little bit of price inflation, but it's really small," says Miguel. "It's much less than 1%."

‘It’s a Miracle’: Helsinki’s Radical Solution to Homelessness

Finland is the only EU country where homelessness is falling. Its secret? Giving people homes as soon as they need them – unconditionally. . . .

It is important that they are tenants: each has a contract, pays rent and (if they need to) applies for housing benefit. That, after all, is all part of having a home – and part of a housing policy that has now made Finland the only EU country where homelessness is falling. . . .

“We decided to make the housing unconditional,” says Kaakinen. “To say, look, you don’t need to solve your problems before you get a home. Instead, a home should be the secure foundation that makes it easier to solve your problems.” . . .

But Housing First is not just about housing. “Services have been crucial,” says Helsinki’s mayor, Jan Vapaavuori, who was housing minister when the original scheme was launched. “Many long-term homeless people have addictions, mental health issues, medical conditions that need ongoing care. The support has to be there.”

At Rukkila, seven staff support 21 tenants. Assistant manager Saara Haapa says the work ranges from practical help navigating bureaucracy and getting education, training and work placements to activities including games, visits and learning – or re-learning – basic life skills such as cleaning and cooking. . . .

Housing First costs money, of course: Finland has spent €250m creating new homes and hiring 300 extra support workers. But a recent study showed the savings in emergency healthcare, social services and the justice system totalled as much as €15,000 a year for every homeless person in properly supported housing.

Nearly half of this year's class of US Rhodes Scholars are first-generation Americans

Collectively, the 32 winners mark the third consecutive year that the majority are minorities, and nearly half are first-generation Americans, according to the trust.

Hannah Gadsby on Why Men Should Be More Ladylike

How about you try pretending that you're the least powerful person in any room, and that no matter how hard you work you'll never be the most powerful. Walk around like that for a couple weeks. And then call your mother.

This is the first time that straight white cis men have been forced to think of themselves as anything other than human neutral. And that must be a difficult thing. And I don't say that to be sarcastic. I can see how it is a tough spot. It is not your fault. You didn't build this mess. You were born into it, like the rest of us. What I am saying is, I have empathy for you. And empathy, by the way, is one of the traits that women are most famous for. You might know it by its other name: “weakness.” But don't be fooled—empathy is a superpower, and it's the only one that any human has to offer.

Almost half of all Americans work in low-wage jobs

Almost half of U.S. workers between ages 18 to 64 are employed in low-wage jobs, the Brookings Institution found. . . .

Most of the 53 million Americans working in low-wage jobs are adults in their prime working years, or between about 25 to 54, they noted. Their median hourly wage is $10.22 per hour — that's above the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour but well below what's considered the living wage for many regions. . . .

But, they added, the issue can't entirely be addressed by improving workers' skills, since low-wage jobs reflect the strength of a local economy. Recent research suggests "there simply are not enough jobs paying decent wages for people without college degrees (who make up the majority of the labor force) to escape low-wage work," they wrote.

In other words, even if low-wage workers undergo job training and learn new skills, they're not guaranteed to find good-paying jobs anywhere near where they currently live.

Police Shootings May Be Causing Black Infants Long-Term Harm

Black women are three to four times more likely to die from complications during childbirth than white women. To explain the disparities, medical researchers were increasingly looking to the stresses of structural racism, the article explained. Legewie, a sociologist at Harvard, couldn’t help wondering if violence by cops might be one way those stresses entered mothers’ and babies’ lives.

His research, published Wednesday in the journal Science Advances, supports his early hunch. According to an analysis of police shootings of unarmed blacks between 2007 and 2016, such violent incidents can cause acute stress to pregnant black women in the area near an incident. The killings can even affect the health of their infants in utero. . . .

Legewie even examined siblings, comparing women who had two pregnancies, one that coincided with a nearby police shooting and one that did not. He found that even in the same families, babies in utero close to a police shooting had worse outcomes than their siblings. . . .

Legewie’s analysis didn’t turn up changes in infant health when mothers lived in the vicinity of generalized violence or police shootings of armed individuals. Legewie speculates that killings of unarmed victims are reminders of discrimination, which can exacerbate “stress and anxiety related to perceived injustice.”

Hicken suggests the issue might be more complicated and related to a concept called vigilance. “Black men and women need to continually anticipate and worry about how they are perceived in society,” she says. “They constantly need to prove that they are worthy of their humanity because our institutions don’t view it that way.” Police shootings of unarmed people could cause a spike in chronic stress and affect infants in utero.

My favorite books read in 2019 for Kids

My favorite books read in 2019 for Teens

Whoever or whatever you consider God, may the coming year bring you more grace from God and from those around you, and may it see you share more grace with others.